meladoodle:

*at job interview* Oh yes, my criminal record? The only thing illegal I’ve done is absolutely KILLIN it on the dancefloor. Haha, just kidding! I have killed a man

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You are beautiful. Own it. Walk like your hips move mountains.

unknown (via zeppelin-child)
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Is your older brother hot

Ancient proverb (via jandjob)
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orgasmic-humor:

Life tip: don’t believe your mom when she tells you “we’ll only be here for a little while”

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